To (not) kill a hummingbird

 

Can you hear it when the universe speaks to you?

The mid-air collision looked fatal.

I was watching one of the most spectacular air shows I’ve ever seen and it was taking place just several feet from me on my back deck. These weren’t antique airplanes, dazzling spectators with aerial acrobatics. Instead, I was watching two male hummingbirds, fiercely fighting each other with such bravado that I had to move out of the way several times to keep from getting hit.

I grew up around hummingbirds; they are seasonal visitors to Colorado. On occasion, I’ve seen the birds tangle with each other, scaring each other off of the little plastic feeder that hangs under the eaves. With immense speed, they can quickly turn in almost any direction and buzz out of the way or right into each other.

These two were a different story. They were after each other and it looked serious. The two would speed toward each other with such force that you could actually hear the impact of their bodies colliding even from inside the house. At times they’d even bounce against the screen door with such force it would rattle the frame.

After watching for a while, I went inside to concentrate on some affirmation work when I heard the two causing a ruckus again. I looked up and saw them squared off from about 10 feet apart. They accelerated and headed straight for each other. The impact was instantaneous and the thud was loud as both birds fell to the ground.

I ran outside in horror and looked out from the deck. Within seconds, the two emerged from the wildflowers below the window and resumed their fight. I exhaled, feeling good that there were no fatalities. But then my attention was drawn to another scuffle, this one between two squirrels about 15 feet away.

The ground assault was as unrelenting as the air attack overhead. The squirrels would tangle, jump at each other in mid-air and wrestle each other to the ground. Their chirping and squeaking was so loud you could hear it throughout the mountain valley below. I watched the two in amazement, stopping only to get out of the way of the fighting birds as they zipped around my head.

That’s when I sensed that the universe was trying to tell me something–I just couldn’t understand what.

My momentary revelation about the universe quickly vanished when two of my favorite friends stopped by. Right ahead of me in the Aspen tree were four Grey Jays, each looking at me eagerly for a handout of day-old bread. The birds visit me whenever I’m at the mountain retreat and are so well trained I can hold a piece of bread in my hand and they’ll land confidently to pick it up.

It’s a small treat for me, which equals a lot of treats for the birds. I look forward to their visits, even if it means frequent trips to the kitchen to get more bread. They circle the house in waves, each waiting for a handout. They’re always pleasant if not persistent but today things were different.

A pair of the birds landed on either side of me on the deck railing. As I held out my hand, they both hopped toward me as they always do. But this time, they lunged at each other, signaling that they each wanted the bread for their own. The two flew off and badgered each other in-flight, just as the hummingbirds had done all day.

I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes to continue reciting affirmations when I was aware of someone staring at me. I opened my eyes to see the other pair of Jays looking for a handout. Once again, I stood up and extended my hand as one bird flew from the branch above me. Quickly, the other intercepted and fought him off, snatching the bread at the same time.

“What the hell is going on today?” I wondered aloud.

Once more, I sat down and closed my eyes, determined to get five minutes of affirmation work done without interruption. As soon as I began reciting affirmations in my head, I quickly became aware of all of the fighting going on around me once more. The hummers were at it, the squirrels were at it, and the Jays were at it—everything in the forest seemed to be at odds with each other.

The feeling that the universe was speaking to me directly filled my awareness. The events were out of place for a relaxing day in the hills. Taken individually, I wouldn’t have thought twice about the occurrences, but when looking at them wholly, I felt something significant was trying to break through to my consciousness.

I slumped down in the chair, feeling frustrated over the affirmation work. This “work” involves purposely giving yourself positive suggestions in areas of your life that you’d like to see some kind of change, however slight. I’ve done affirmation work before and had limited success. The overall goal is to help you change your thoughts by chipping away at negative, ineffective or outdated beliefs. It takes an open mind, concentration and persistence. I had none of the above.

My thoughts kept wandering into dangerous territory. I repeatedly found myself thinking, “why isn’t this working?” only to realize that in itself was a limiting statement. I immediately replaced it with another, more positive counterpart. The whole process felt exhausting—and that’s when I finally “heard” what the universe was telling me.

Symbolism was all around me, focused into the pairs of animals that were fighting each other. Each of the animals were equals—two hummingbirds, two squirrels and two sets of Grey Jays. Looking at each pair, you’d be hard pressed to tell each of them apart. I realized then the connection to beliefs. Beliefs in and of themselves are neither negative nor positive. It’s only the value we place on them that make them productive or counter-productive to our own development.

I spent the better part of the day in a battle with myself, pitting opposing ideas against each other for a place in my deeper consciousness. Every 20 minutes or so, I was purposely “trying” to do affirmations and I realized then—when the universe revealed it to me—that I was trying too hard. I was trying so forcefully to imbue new beliefs into my psyche that I was actually pushing them away with the effort. The animals helped me see it clearly.

A smile appeared on my face and I caught myself making it. It was a smile of “knowing” that the universe was on my side and it was telling me to take it easy. Once I relaxed and let the information come to me, it was hard to dismiss. There’s nothing quite as reassuring as the understanding of your own connection to the divine.

So I relaxed and sat in appreciation of my new awareness. I dropped the affirmation work for the day and instead turned my attention to the sound of the Aspen leaves rustling above my head. I soaked in the atmosphere of the mountain air and breathed deeply and assuredly.

One of the Jays plopped out of the sky and landed on the railing in front of me. I grabbed some bread from the table and reached my hand out in a peaceful offering. He flew to my hand and sat on my thumb for several seconds, staring at me deeply before grabbing the food and flying away. As I watched him soar above the meadow, I noticed there were no more fighting squirrels. They were each quietly foraging the ground for their own food, unaware of each other or of the human watching them from above.

As I turned to go inside, I glanced at the hummingbird feeder. Each of the males was perched on a separate plastic flower, sipping on the sugary nectar inside. Their differences settled, the two sat and peacefully coexisted. They weren’t fighting anymore and neither was I.

 

 

 

Reflections of the inner world

The reality you experience starts with the thoughts in your mind.

If you’re new to conscious creation, this can be a difficult concept to accept. Heck, even if you’ve studied conscious creation or law of attraction at length, this can be a hard concept to accept. But in basic terms, the physical world—your “outer” world—is a reflection of your internal thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

The physical world is reflecting your inner state of being. It’s a pretty cool process really, since it allows you to see your creations with fresh eyes. It allows you to react to your own inner reality and make changes as necessary. You create with your mind first; the universe then makes those creations physical so you can check your work.

I remind myself of this frequently since I, like other people, get wrapped up in believing that I have no control over my existence. I forget that I am responsible for the life I lead and I frequently forget that I have a voice in the reality that I experience. It sounds simple in theory, yes, but not as easy to implement in daily life.

So what kind of reality are you experiencing in this moment? Are you happy and joyful? Sad and fearful? Successful and exuberant? If you like the current state of your life, or at least if you’re enjoying the present moment, keep at it. You’re doing exactly what you need to be doing.

When you don’t like your present circumstances, however, or when you find yourself experiencing pain, sadness, depression or other negative emotions, it’s time to go inside and do some investigating. What are you thinking about? How are you feeling? What daydreams have been running through your mind?

So much of our conscious awareness is unconscious. We don’t take the time to investigate our own active thoughts or take the time to become aware of what we’re feeling. If we don’t stop and take the time to do this, a lot can slip by under the radar. It’s not that we purposely want to lead unfulfilling lives, it’s that we don’t take the time to apply awareness to our inner world and change course if necessary.

Sometimes this process of going inside can result in quick changes; other times it may take a while for physical reality to catch up. Either way, the only way to make true, hardcore changes to your life is to adjust your own internal thoughts, emotions and beliefs.

Last weekend I was driving in the mountains in Colorado. Summer weekend travel on the interstate can be anything but pleasant and I certainly got caught up in my own “reflected reality.” I was focusing on the heavy traffic, rude drivers, oppressive heat and road construction. For almost two hours, I found myself thinking about “negative” things: problems at work, financial stress, and lack of time to name a few. I was caught up in a living reflection of my own negative creations.

When I turned off the interstate and eased onto a county road, I caught myself. I realized I had spent the previous few hours ruminating about problems and I made the conscious decision to change my thoughts. I decided to look for 10 things that made me feel good in any way possible: big or small. I started with noticing the deep blue sky and puffy white clouds floating by. I reminded myself that it felt good to be up early in the morning and getting out of town to spend some time in retreat. I stopped and got a milkshake, which then added to my good mood. The tide was now turning in my favor.

As I rounded the hillside close to my summer retreat, I noticed the small pond below me. The water was perfectly still and reflected the brilliant sky and mountains behind it. I stopped the car, took out my phone and snapped a picture to remind myself of the beauty before me. As I looked at that picture through rest of the weekend, I was reminded how easy it was to change my thoughts and allow the world to reflect a better, more pleasing reality.

The outer world is a reflection of your inner world, so take some time today to craft the best inner world possible. Think about the good things happening in your life. Take time to appreciate small things that catch your eye. Realize that the universe is conspiring to help you develop in the best way possible. Hold those positive thoughts and images in your mind and return to them time and again until your outer world reflects that inner landscape.

You never know what beauty you may find.

 

 

What do you create with your conscious (or unconscious) “mixture”?

Your conscious creation “mix” determines the world you experience.

Appreciation is a hard feeling to find when you’re freezing. And as my friend and I started out on a walk with the dogs in 12 degree weather, I wasn’t expecting to feel appreciation for anything until I returned to the comfort of my warm home.

It had been a few days since the snow fell and although it was sunny out, the freezing temperatures ensured that the snow and ice stayed on the ground. Carefully navigating icy streets with two big dogs was a challenge and left us little time to look around at the natural beauty of a cold Colorado winter morning. But as my dog, Bloo, stopped to do his business, my eye was drawn to the sewer grate several feet away. There, amid the dirty, icy asphalt was a beautiful arrangement of ice and snow. The combination of wind, sun, temperature and the construction of the grate had turned our winter snow into a beautiful display of crystal wonderment.

Suddenly I had more of an appreciation for our walk. I snapped a picture of the scene and we continued our trek.

It seemed like such a little thing at the time but the beauty of the ice and snow on that metal grate got me thinking about how we create our own personal universes. I write a lot about how we combine thoughts, emotions, beliefs and imaginations into our personal worlds and here was a perfect example of that process, albeit couched in nature.

The elements of creation–our intimate thoughts, beliefs and emotions–are akin to water. On its own, water is a fantastic substance. It’s life giving and life supporting and can easily transform from liquid to snow to ice to vapor and back again in endless cycles. Water, combined with wind, temperature, shape and surface can easily transform into many things, good and “bad,” from the water we drink to the power behind a destructive tsunami. The combination of elements transforms water into different uses as does our own thoughts and emotions.

All too often, we get stuck on particular thoughts. Ditto for emotions. Whether we’re trying to manifest something concrete, like a new job, or simply enhance our own personal experience, we often get caught up in one particular thought or emotion we’re trying to change. What we must realize (myself included) is how important the overall mix and consistency of our thoughts is to the creation process.

The process of conscious creation means using all of the elements at our disposal in a manner that fits our overall goals and expectations. To do that, we must become conscious of our thoughts, aware of our emotions and purposeful with our imaginations and combine them in a directive manner. When we do this (and we must do it consistently), we set the stage for beautiful things to appear in our lives.

My walk with the dog is a condensed, but good example. After just a few yards from the house, I began to bitch about the cold weather. Then came the complaints about the ice. From there, with my thoughts and words unchecked, I convinced myself it was never going to get warm again and I’d forever be frozen in this moment (frozen in time, if you’ll excuse the pun). That thinking quickly created a mood which was anything but productive or fun. Soon I was complaining about many other aspects of my life–my job, friends, the list went on and on.

Once I finally caught myself in the act, meaning once I finally became conscious of my thoughts and imaginations (and recognizing the role they played in my mood), I was able to do something about it. It took seeing that beautiful sewer grate (have you ever heard those words together before?) to wake me up and realize I needed to work on my conscious creation “mix.” I could instantly recognize I was creating negativity in my “now” moment and projecting it into the future. So, I set out to purposely look at my reality in a different way: The sun was out, that’s a good thing. The forecast called for higher temperatures in a day or two, I could hold out till then. If I continued my line of thinking/imagining, I would be miserable for the foreseeable future.

Applying these concepts on a larger scale, from specific goals to overall emotional wellbeing, can be a little more difficult. Still, starting the process is important. Will you succeed each and every time? Probably not. What we’re aiming here for is an overall re-orientation to our thought/emotional/imagination mix, adjusting it where necessary and sometimes scrubbing the whole thing and starting over.

However you begin to adjust your mix is up to you. For me, it began by noticing the beauty of a sewer grate and becoming appreciative of a cold Colorado day.

When nature demands to be seen.

Words and pictures can barely do justice for Nature’s display tonight.

The glory of the present moment can sometimes take you by surprise.

My friends like to tease me for all of the sunset pictures I take. Throughout the winter, the Colorado skies are pretty spectacular. Tonight was one of those nights and, of course, I had my camera at the ready.

Tonight, nature asserted herself through a surreal display of awesome colors, textures and emotions. So vast, so vibrant and so moving was tonight’s sunset, it demanded to be seen.

I was talking with a neighbor, returning from a walk with the dog, when we both looked up to the sky at the same time. His voice stopped mid-sentence. There was no longer a need for words. Together, we experienced nature fully, basking in its glory and living supremely in the present moment. That’s the power of nature–when it can stop you dead in your tracks, sit you down figuratively and show you how moving, special and inviting the present moment can be.

We forget about living in the present moment. There’s Christmas presents to buy, floors to vacuum and emails to send. So when nature affords us a chance to unplug from the grind and reconnect to source, we’d be fools not to stop and take notice.

There will be other stunning sunsets. I’ll continue to take pictures of them. But tonight, nature’s demands have been met. I’ve sipped at the cup of the present moment and my heart and soul are pleasantly full.

Faith and vulnerability

I write a lot in this blog about the “safe universe concept”—the idea being that we live in a safe universe. This is one of the core concepts of conscious creation and it’s a belief that’s hard for people to accept: very hard. It’s even harder when we’re faced with tragic events we see in the news such as the movie theatre shooting that happened in Aurora, Colorado last week.

Accepting that you live in a safe universe means changing your beliefs about safety. It means knocking down old beliefs that are contrary to that concept and changing them, one by one, to feelings of security. To truly embrace the feeling of safety and security, you must purposely direct your thoughts and beliefs to a new paradigm and learn to adopt new thought patterns and beliefs on a variety of subjects. Doing this requires faith and practice. No one said this would be easy.

Having faith that you are protected is new for most of us. We’re conditioned to be on the lookout for threats to our own precious existence. Whether the threats are financial (the economy), emotional (relationships), health (disease) or physical safety (violence), we have grown up in a society that teaches us to be vigilant toward these subjects and take the needed precautions against them. We’ve been taught that we must prepare for danger and actively work against it in our future.

But that old methodology doesn’t fit with the theory of living in a safe world. When you believe, truly believe, that you live in a safe world, those external threats don’t make sense. When you believe that no harm will come to you and when you believe that every action you experience is leading you toward your own value fulfillment, threats take on a new meaning. They are no longer threats. Instead, they’re indicators that let you see if you believe what you now say you do.

I’ve worked with the safe universe concept for a few years now and continue to struggle with it. Our own personal safety is ingrained in our psyche and we’re committed to protecting it. The ego is the main culprit here, as the ego wants us to be safe. The ego reacts primarily to physical data as its basis for protecting us. What it can’t see or doesn’t understand, it ignores. The data that it does see, it usually overreacts to, turning even minor threats into major ordeals designed to get us to react for our own safety.

There’s more to the psyche than the ego. That’s why it’s important to begin the process of changing your thoughts and beliefs about safety. It’s often easiest to start with your conscious thoughts: checking them periodically throughout the day and weighting them against the theory of living in a safe world. Asking “does this make sense in a world where I’m completely safe and protected?” is a good place to start. If it doesn’t make sense, you’ve identified an area you can start to shift to a new, safer perspective.

As I’ve worked on changing my beliefs about my own safety in the world, I’ve become acutely aware of the hardest part in the whole process: being vulnerable. Making conscious choices to accept safety as a way of life means taking a leap of faith that the new thought model will pay off. It’s scary to do this. The concept sounds good but implementing it is a whole new game.

Embracing life from a safe perspective means we must be vulnerable to the world. It means being vulnerable to the things we’ve created with our emotions and thoughts and beliefs and it means being vulnerable to the variations that occur from the creative universe. Being vulnerable is the only way we can move forward in the world. Without that vulnerability, we remain stuck in fear and then in turn, attract more fear.

Vulnerability requires faith and faith requires vulnerability. It’s a declaration of independence from the official life we know. Vulnerability is like standing naked on the mountaintop and telling the world, “I accept what I’m creating, bring it on, world.” Making that declaration then means being open to what we’ve created and what we attract, no matter what it is.

Sometimes these issues loom larger than life. This morning, I read a blog post about a friend of a friend who went to the movies after the mass shooting in Colorado. My friend wondered how safe people will now feel to do something as simple as going to a movie. Is there a lingering threat? Should I be watchful of other people in the theatre? Should I always know where to find the emergency exits? Certainly these are big issues right now. I’m not denying that they are important to think about at the moment. The emotional wounds of last week’s shooting are still fresh in everyone’s minds.

Yet once again we’re faced with making ourselves vulnerable if we want to move forward. We must have the faith that we are protected and that taking steps toward that vulnerability will eventually lead us to new feelings of calm and centeredness. It can be scary to move toward that vulnerability but practice will make it easier and faith will help it come closer.

 

 

 

Life doesn’t always give you answers

In times of tragedy, it seems like all we have are questions, the most prevalent being simply: why?

In Colorado today, we’re finding ourselves burdened by that oppressive question as we come to terms with the details of a gunman who opened fire in a crowded movie theatre, killing 12 people and injuring more than 50. As the media dissect the story and as witnesses post to social media platforms, the images and emotions of the late night shooting are making their way outward into the world. And with every news story, every status update and every graphic image shared, the question arises again: why?

Why would someone kill innocent people? Why would this happen to innocent people? Why would the shooter booby trap his apartment knowing law enforcement would find it? Why? Why? Why? Like a song stuck in your head, the question of why is always just under the surface of your consciousness, poking its head up every so often, demanding to be heard and answered.

Faith often provides a framework for the question of “why?” but usually seems to only strengthen its hold on your awareness. For every rationalization and for every small bit of understanding gained, the “why monster” only gets bigger and hungrier. It wants more information, more clarity and more understanding. It doesn’t understand that no matter what your religion, your belief system, your view on life, some things in life simply are unanswerable on a level that makes any sense.

I firmly believe that All That Is (or whatever term you use for God) understands events like this and that ultimately there is a reason for them. But right here, right now, I’m locked into an ego-bound consciousness; and, that consciousness simply cannot process such tragedy. The ego interfaces with physical reality and therefore is subject to a limited range—that which it can see and hear and feel. The ego doesn’t have direct access to that part of me that’s connected with the divine and so it feels shut out and abandoned. What the ego cannot understand, it cannot accept.

So for the time being, I simply must rely on my faith in All That Is. I must trust that tragedies such as this morning’s shooting serve another purpose that I’m not yet privy to. I must trust that everyone involved directly with the tragedy is ultimately being led to something bigger and better, even if I can never see it in my lifetime. My own faith in All That Is tells me that my limited ego doesn’t need to know the answers. All of the “why’s” aren’t my concern and that by releasing my need to know why, I’ll actually feel more serenity.

To quell the “why? Monster,” I find I must turn my attention to the things that do make sense and that feel good. Already we’re seeing people come together in prayer for those affected by the shooting. I’ve witnessed parents hugging their kids and spouses reaffirming their love for one another. Like we had a few weeks ago with the forest fires that ravaged Colorado, there is an outpouring of love and concern for our state.

Narrowing our concentration to love and compassion for others and ourselves helps quiet the “Why? Monster.” It’s a monster that cannot be defeated during our time on earth so we must learn to work with it, to understand it, and release it when it gets too big.

For now, I hope you’ll join me in quiet reflection on those thoughts we can control: love for one another and compassion for those that were affected by the tragedy. Those actions and thoughts we can purposely direct and the intent to do so will be felt by everyone involved.

 

Chris

Denver, CO

7-20-12

We call them heroes

They’ve helped people evacuate devastating firestorms across the state. They’ve helped save animals and property from destruction. They carry packs weighing more than 40 pounds and they’ve done it in temperatures over 100 degrees.

There’s a reason why we’ve had no loss of life in the Colorado wildfires this summer: the brave men and women who put their lives on the line to protect us.

When we run from problems, they run to them. They’re first responders and we owe them a lot.

Please take a moment to thank our firefighters–wherever you live.