This ego needs a laxative

Constipated energy causes problems.

I can’t lay claim to that wonderful observation, it came from my dear friend Allison as she tried to reassure me after a not-so-pleasant confrontation with my roommate this past weekend. The analogy couldn’t be more accurate.

I made what I thought was a reasonable request of my roommate: to move some boxes from the living room to a storage room. Sounds simple, right? The problem, however, isn’t so much the request, but the fact that the boxes had been sitting there for months and months, a fact I chose to ignore time and time again.

Each time I entered the living room, I saw the boxes and would get upset with them being there. But each time I purposely ignored the little voice inside my head that said to confront him. That voice was a clear impulse to action, urging me to address the issue before it became a real problem.

I wanted to keep the peace, so each time I turned a deaf ear to the impulse and hoped the situation would resolve itself. I didn’t stop there, however. I talked to my friends and family about it, I thought about it frequently and had a steady stream of daydreams about it. In turn, I was letting my negative reaction to the boxes become a big energy block.

I reached my limit when I discovered the boxes had multiplied in the past several weeks. Instantly, I felt energy draw up into my body, surging its way through my system as if I stuck my finger in a light socket. My face flushed and my heart raced. It was strong enough that I had to close my eyes for a moment before I could even think about my next move.

Thankfully, I was able to regain my senses and contain my anger long enough to finally talk to my roommate directly in a tactful and careful manner. I immediately felt better although I was a bit shaky. Without getting into detail, let’s just say that the situation went downhill from there.

The take away from this story is this: how unnatural and odd it felt to honor myself by taking action. It seemed as if I was taking back my power by standing up for myself, yet I felt worse than I had before the confrontation. Why?

Allison’s reassuring words put me at ease.

“Saying something, I think, is way better than saying nothing. It lets energy out, lets steam out. Constipated energy causes problems, so way to go,” she wrote in an email.

She is right, of course, and while I felt better about honoring myself, I had a new enemy to fight: my ego. For the next several hours, I was embroiled in a full-on battle with my thoughts and imaginations. I remained conscious enough to attempt—many, many times—to direct my thoughts in a more positive direction but each time my ego emerged the victor. Even when I was lucky enough to distract myself for a few moments by taking a walk or doing chores, I caught my imagination replaying the confrontation or dreaming up future arguments, none of which were honoring to my roommate or myself.

The challenge, of course, is that I didn’t act on the original impulse—the one that said, “You should talk to him about this before it gets out of hand.” Instead of taking action, I chose to internalize the problem, which my ego was then only too happy to grab a hold of and not let go. Each time I chose inaction, my ego became further attached and the problem (as well as my ego) got bigger and stronger.

Ignoring impulses leads to a degradation of spirit. Impulses come from deep within the inner self, pointing the way to effective outcomes. So when we choose to ignore the directions from the inner self, we trap constructive energy within the psyche where it leads to problems.

Damming up energy, such as emotions, can only go on for so long. Energy always seeks movement and release, so bottling it up causes pressure to build, stagnate and eventually erupt. As the energy builds, we may not always see it directly or acknowledge it, but it’s there, waiting for us to do something with it.

No prescription needed

As a result of all this, I’m proposing a slightly offbeat solution: an ego laxative. You don’t need a prescription and there are no pesky side effects. In fact, your spirit will actually be strengthened. You will, however, need to follow directions.

When presented with an impulse, honor it as much as possible. Impulses may appear strange, often presenting a confusing or undesirable path of action. But the action only appears undesirable because we’re conditioned to not trust our impulses. Or, we let our ego and intellect interfere and come up with a whole list of reasons why we shouldn’t act on the impulse.

Acting on impulses is honoring to the spirit, even if you don’t act on the first one, or second, or third. Those impulses are your soul’s way of saying “this is a good move for you” and it’s your job to take notice and do something with the information. When my roommate situation came to a head, I had the impulse to finally assert myself and take action. It was loud and clear. It may have taken some time for me to act, but I finally did and in the end was the best solution.

When we get in the habit of honoring our impulses, the ego relaxes. It comes to accept those messages form the inner self and in time begins to understand that they represent trusted, quality information. A soft, flexible ego is the goal and impulses are a way to get there.

Give yourself an ego laxative when you’re presented with an opportunity to act on an impulse even if it feels strange to do so. It takes practice but is very worthwhile in the end.

 

 

 

 

 

What are you resolving?

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. Quitting smoking? That lasted a day. Exercising more? I made it a week. Resolving to cook at home more? I went out to dinner on Jan. 1.

Most people don’t even think about resolutions until Dec. 31. Suddenly, the urge to change your life becomes more real as the clock ticks toward midnight and you find yourself scrambling to make life-altering decisions on the fly. It’s no wonder we poke fun at resolutions and the people who let them slide just a few days later.

The desire to change your life is constant, whether you admit to it or not. You’re always looking for ways to make your life more pleasant and your experience more fulfilling. But New Year’s resolutions that focus solely on measureable outcomes—like exercising more and spending less—are oftentimes counter productive to living a better life.

The solution lies in a more subtle approach to self-care. This year, consider making some broad-based resolutions that direct your life rather than constrain it.

Resolve to be more gentle with yourself

At first blush, this sounds a lot like something you’d read in a typical self-help book. I know I’ve been one to roll my eyes at a suggestion such as this. However, the point is valid: we’re often too tough on ourselves. How often do you find yourself berating yourself for something you view as a “mistake” or getting angry with yourself for a decision you’ve made?

When you talk to yourself, think about what you’d like to hear from a trusted friend or family member. Would they yell at you or put you down? Hopefully not. Apply the same approach to yourself. Being gentle means reducing the amount of guilt or anger you direct at yourself. It means laughing at yourself more and realizing that you are in a constant state of learning.

You are always doing the best you can at any given point in time so stop getting angry if you don’t measure up to your goals. Most goals are simply ideals–desired outcomes. Being gentle with yourself allows you the freedom to reach those ideals in different and unexpected ways.

Resolve to love yourself more

Learning to love yourself is one of the most important lessons you will ever undertake yet many view it in a narcissistic light. Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s necessary for spiritual growth and prosperity. Loving yourself takes many forms, from caring for your body to making time for yourself. But the place to start is much more basic: declaring your love for yourself to yourself every day.

If you’re not in the practice of saying, “I love you” to yourself, this will sound and feel odd at first. That’s why it’s important to start small and build a solid foundation. When you stand in the mirror in the morning, simply say to yourself (out loud or with your thoughts), “I love you.” It’s that simple. As you go through your day, make a conscious decision to say, “I love myself,” as many times as you remember to do so. In the beginning, you’ll have to remind yourself to do this. As you keep at it, it will become more natural and you’ll start to actually feel love with the positive affirmation.

If you’re rolling your eyes at this resolution, you’re in need of more self-love. Keep at it every day.

Resolve to follow your impulses

Most people distrust their impulses. They’re often viewed as coming from an unsavory part of the subconscious. However, impulses are messages from the inner self that help guide us toward our best fulfillment. We’ve simply schooled ourselves into believing something bad will happen if we let go and follow those urges to action. (You can read more about impulses here).

Rather than making a full-scale resolution to follow every impulse that comes your way, again, start small. If the impulse to do something shoves its way into your conscious thoughts, stop and recognize it. Follow the thought: what would happen if you let yourself go with the impulse? Pausing and imagining the outcome of that impulse will help train your mind into seeing the benefit of it. Too often we simply block the impulse and discard it.

If you are able to do so, follow an impulse every day. It could be as simple as getting up from your desk to take a quick walk or writing an email to a friend if the thought arises. When an impulse seems to come out of nowhere, pay special attention. Your inner self is trying to get your attention. Honor yourself by seeing where the impulse will take you.

Resolve to follow your joy

Why is following your joy so difficult? Because we believe that it is. Following your joy doesn’t have to mean quitting your job and becoming a beachcomber. It doesn’t mean making huge life changes at every turn. It does mean making small, positive steps toward doing what you enjoy.

Start taking note of the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. Then, make a promise to yourself to do more of those things each day. Spending just a few minutes per day indulging in your joy will bring you more satisfaction than you can ever imagine. Give yourself the permission to do so.

New Year’s resolutions shouldn’t be constrictive. Frame 2013 with some basic tenants toward living that will enhance your joy and allow you to Honor Your Spirit. Best wishes for a great year ahead!

Christopher

 

 

The value of doing nothing

If I were in kindergarten, I would be crying. I was losing a real-world game of hide and seek and time was running out. Instead of looking for someone, however, I was looking for something. In this case, the right words to a book review I was trying to write for my blog. The words simply didn’t want to be found.

I put off the task for several days, hoping that my creative subconscious would work on the project while I attended to that little thing called life. I dutifully kept my normal schedule: work, chores, cooking and walking the dog, hoping I could sit down and knock out the review once it had time to brew in the back of my mind.

The longer I put it off, however, the harder it became. So I sat down, determined to write something—anything—to get started and still, the words would not come. What did appear was a realization that my creative block was deeper than it seemed on the surface. I wasn’t blocked; I was unmotivated, toward writing and toward life itself.

I could hypothesize all kinds of reasons for my lack of motivation: I had a busier than usual fall, working on a big writing project, wading through rivers of projects at work and dealing with a lot of personal change. Yes, all of these things can take a toll on the human spirit and they certainly did with mine. Yet a little voice kept nagging me to stop complaining, get moving, get writing and get on with my life.

After meditating, I decided to ignore that little voice. I poured myself a cup of coffee, sat down and did absolutely nothing for several hours.

Whose voice is that anyway?

The reason for ignoring the little voice in my head was simple: it was my ego. As he’s prone to do, my ego was feeling anxious about not completing the writing project. Hard work, attention to detail and deadlines are the handmaidens of the ego and he wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it.

It took me a few days to recognize the voice of the ego, but there were a few tell tale signs that helped me make a positive identification. Repeatedly, I was hearing a lot of “should” and “need to” statements coming from the voice. Things like, “you should really finish that book review,” or “You really need to be doing something with your blog,” or “You shouldn’t be slacking off right now.” I grew irritated with the voice.

The ego wants us to move forward, work and make sure that we are living up to the standards set by society, our families and our responsibilities. The ego doesn’t see the benefit of slacking off; instead, he takes us to task on completing our to-do lists.

After a little introspection, I was more than happy to ignore the ego this time.

Following impulses

Impulses toward action are a wonderful thing. Impulses come to us from deep in the soul and inner self, urging us to move in the direction of our fondest goals and desires. We tend to be distrustful of impulses, however, because they frequently seem foreign to the rational mind. When we don’t understand an impulse intellectually, we tend to dismiss it and miss an excellent opportunity for growth.

So if following impulses is a good thing, why was I having the impulse to do nothing? Why was my psyche telling me to sit one out, regroup, and let the world move on by for a few days? And why was I fighting it?

Inaction as action

This may be hard to digest, but the act of “doing nothing,” is actually “doing something.” We have simply conditioned ourselves to believe that we must constantly work toward some arbitrary goal or we’ll fail miserably at life.

While the intellect views inaction as wrong or lazy, the spirit looks at inaction as:

• Replenishing the body and spirit
• Allowing the inner self to come up with fabulous new ideas
• Giving the universe the space and time to arrange details in our favor
• Arranging events that are more advantageous or avoiding situations that are harmful

When to accept “doing nothing”

I won’t argue that it’s hard to accept “doing nothing” as a much-needed part of daily living. It’s easier to accept this notion on vacation and even then, “doing nothing” seems suspect. How do you know when it’s okay to do nothing?

Generally, it’s best to discover whether you’ve got the impulse to do nothing or if you are instead trying to avoid doing something. I’m referring here to procrastination, where the urge to “do nothing” or the urge to “do absolutely anything but” something is key. Procrastination is avoidance and you probably have a whole handful (or mindful) of reasons why you don’t want to do something.

Sit down, get quiet for a few moments and let go of thought. You’re trying to feel your way through this exercise. Let your body talk to you through feeling (emotional or physical) and intuition. What kinds of things do you discover?

When I did this exercise, I felt a slight fatigue in my body; but, more than anything, I had the urge to sit in my favorite chair. I didn’t feel the urge to read or write. There was no impulse to surf the Internet. My body told me it only wanted to sit and be still for a while. For how long, I didn’t know.

It did take a few hours for my ego to stop whining about my inactivity. I reassured him constantly about the benefits of this new plan and how much better life would be in the long run. After I truly gave in and relaxed into inactivity, I could feel a shift in my energy and in my enthusiasm.

Accepting the impulse toward inaction is important. It’s not the norm in society and your friends, family members and coworkers may chastise you for it. Your own ego may chastise you as well. However, it’s in the fighting of the impulse to do nothing where energy gets blocked and problems appear.

Reality Challenge™

Doing nothing can be a scary proposition. It can also be one of the most fulfilling things your soul can experience. This week, I invite you to look for–to feel for–times when your spirit is telling you to slow down and take a break. The same holds true for your body, as the impulse to rest is equally as important to the body as it is the spirit.

If you identify the impulse to do nothing, accept it. Remind your ego that you’re trying something new and to stop whining. Allow yourself the luxury to do nothing, at least as much as you can without “have to” responsibilities. Try it and feel for a shift. Your spirit may thank you.

 

 

 

Whispers and shouts from the universe

Are you one of those people who talks to God? I’m not referring to formal prayer but rather to those times when you glance at the sky and pose a question to the universe. We all do. But when you pose a question to God (or the universe, or whatever term you’d like to use), are you really ready to hear the answer?

Most of us aren’t even aware of our frequent requests to the universe. How many times a day do you find yourself making statements like this: “Please, God, let me make this light,” “Okay universe, I could really use some help winning the lottery,” or my personal favorite, “What the hell do I do now?”

For many people, these questions are simply an expressive form of inner communication. We pose questions out loud in an effort to clarify our own thoughts and sometimes we earnestly ask for direction or help with a challenge. Usually we don’t expect an answer.

But what if you get a response?

In actuality, the universe is always responding to you, answering your deepest questions, giving you clues on your next direction and guiding you on your personal spiritual path. The universe speaks through many avenues and it’s up to you to listen for the advice you so humbly asked for. This is a brave process. It requires attention and a willingness to act upon the information you receive.

Frequently, when we ask a question of God or the universe, we are not ready for the answer. Sometimes we’re scared of the answer because it would mean moving out of our own comfort zones. Other times, we receive answers from the universe but we don’t understand it as such and therefore discount what we’ve just heard or experienced.

Learning the language of the universe is extremely important and may feel like a lifelong process. Taking the time to understand and then recognize this language helps you understand that you’re not alone in this world. It helps you feel connected to spirit and helps you make decisions and determine next steps when you need them most.

How the universe speaks to us

Through shouts

On rare occasions, the universe hands you an answer to your question with such authority, it’s hard not to take notice. That was certainly true for me last week when I received news that a publisher rejected my book proposal. I was, to say the least, disappointed. After spending six months working on the proposal, I was disheartened and started questioning my future. Should I look for an agent to market the book? Should I give up writing altogether? Should I start another project?

After earnestly asking for direction from the universe, my first step was to forget the whole matter. Too often we want immediate answers to our questions and then get mad at the universe when it doesn’t materialize an answer in thin air. I posed the question out loud and resolved to let the matter settle a bit while I allowed my emotions to flow about the proposal.

Two days later I was talking to my sister about the proposal. I told her my disappointment and outlined my options, including the idea for a new book that was rolling around in my mind. About an hour later, I retrieved the mail. In the stack of bills and circulars was an envelope addressed to my father who’s been deceased for 15 years. It’s not unusual for him to get mail still and I usually just throw it away. But this envelope caught my eye and for some reason I opened it. Inside was the guidance I was looking for.

In big bold letters was a book cover with the title, “Write your book…NOW!” The flyer was for a book advising others how to write and publish their own book. Although I wasn’t interested in the book itself, the message was hard to miss. The universe was shouting at me and it was time to get started writing.

Through whispers

Deciding on a job or career change can be difficult. For me, I was aware of only my growing dissatisfaction with my first marketing job after college. I had grown significantly in the position, but was starting to get in regular disagreements with coworkers and was becoming intolerant of my new boss. Still, leaving the job didn’t seem like the thing to do.

Over the course of the next several months, I began to get colds and strep throat frequently–very frequently. These bouts of illness would require me to stay at home for several days. Once I healed, I would return to work and get frustrated all over again. I asked for help from God. But when no clear answer came, I returned to my familiar, if not uncomfortable, life.

I had been expecting some sort of clear revelation from the skies above. I wanted a job to fall into my lap or a winning lottery ticket to take me away from it all. It felt like no body was listening.

The universe had been talking to me…in a whisper. Yes, illness can seem more like a shout (especially if you’ve ever experienced strep throat), but since the colds and strep were treatable, I didn’t get the message. On my fifth bout of strep in several months, the universe spoke to me again, this time in the form of a book about the psychological reasons for illness. It had been on my shelf for several months but I never bothered to pick it up.

Reading that book helped me understand that I created the illness myself (in cooperation with the universe) and that I’m responsible for my own happiness. Honoring myself was clearly the path I needed to take and God was showing me the way. I decided then and there that I would leave the job within several months.

Through symbolism

When my friend Liz got engaged, a nagging sense of doubt kept creeping into her consciousness as she began planning the wedding. Although the wedding planning was easy and a lot of things fell into place, she still couldn’t shake the sense that something wasn’t right with the whole engagement. The only glitch was finding a place to hold the event. Things looked up when her future mother-in-law agreed to hold the wedding at her house and even volunteered to paint and wallpaper the living room for the occasion.

The day of the wedding, Liz arrived in her gown and makeup through the back of the house so as not to see her fiancé. Before walking into the house, she offered up a quiet prayer to guide her toward her burning question: “Is this wedding a good idea?”

As the wedding processional started, she descended the stairs into her mother-in-law’s living room, freshly wallpapered with four-inch stop signs in a repeating pattern. She thought it a strange design for wallpaper but brushed off the thought as the wedding began.

Needless to say, Liz’s marriage didn’t last long. And after her separation, it became clear to her how the universe was giving her a message, this time through symbols on wallpaper. “It’s so obvious when I think about it now. If only I had stopped to process it at the time,” she told me.

Through impulses

On a road trip through Colorado one summer, I became hopelessly lost. I dislike maps and so wasn’t using one to get me from town to town. But as the skies grew dark and with no civilization in sight, all I could see was a vast outstretch of land and a gas tank that was headed toward empty.

I tried to quell my sense of panic by reminding myself that everything was OK and that I would find someplace to refuel and stop for the night. But an hour later, there was only darkness ahead. I asked the universe for help.

About 20 minutes later, I had the strangest impulse to turn back onto a dirt road I had passed a few miles back. I’m not sure why the impulse was there and tried to talk myself out of honoring it; but before I knew it, I had turned the car around and headed toward that dark dirt road. There were no signs indicating what road it was or where it was headed, but my gut told me to keep driving.

After less than two miles of winding dirt road, the darkness ahead of me opened up and I could see city lights. I could clearly make out the signs for a gas station, hotel and McDonalds. I had unknowingly been driving around the back of a small mountain range and had found a small connecting road that led right into town.

My impulse—a direct form of communication from my inner self—had guided me right to safety. Had I ignored my impulse and kept driving forward, I may have run out of gas in the middle of nowhere.

Once you hear it, act on it

If you’re lucky enough to recognize and understand when you’re being given advice from the universe, act upon it. If you ignore it, you’re in essence telling the universe, “hey, I asked for your advice but I’m not going to take it now, so don’t bother helping me in the future.” That’s a little over the top, I know, but being grateful for the advice you receive starts by taking action on it.

Acting on advice from All That Is helps sharpen your connection to spirit. It helps you develop a sense of trust within yourself and it helps you strengthen your intuitive and psychic muscles—something that will serve you well in every area of your life.

Ask powerfully; listen powerfully

Finally, it’s important to understand that when you ask a question of the universe, the universe will respond in kind. If you ask a question without much enthusiasm, the universe will give you little feedback. When your desire to know and to understand is strong, you’ll receive more definitive answers to your questions.

Please, be relaxed about this process. Anxious energy thwarts the process and keeps you from hearing the whispers and shouts of the universe. Approach your “question and answer” session with God with a curious, and somewhat playful, attitude. You can be serious in your questioning, but a relaxed approach will help you hear and feel the results you seek.

 

 

 

Do what you love; love what you live

 

It’s a state of being most of us are unfamiliar with–that sublime experience of doing exactly what you love.

I’m not necessarily talking about a profession or a career. Instead, this is living from your intuitive and impulsive center. This is the freedom of allowing yourself to follow your gut and do those things that feel good. This is honoring yourself by taking a risk and trusting that your inner instincts will lead you to the most productive, inspirational and value-filled place possible.

Some would argue that you can’t trust that part of yourself, that voice that says, “I want to go to the beach and collect seashells.” But when you allow yourself the liberation of that voice and follow it through with action, you’re automatically affecting the world in positive ways. You may never know the value you’re bringing to the world with your “selfish” actions, but trust that you are benefitting the world and yourself by doing so.

A small but obvious example

A bee has the instinct to collect pollen and nectar. In many ways, he is inspired to do so and lives what he loves. He spends his days hopping from flower to flower to flower to feast on the delights of nature and share with his growing family. He delights in the task, not looking at it as a chore or survival, but because he wants to do so. In his exuberance, he is helping flowers pollenate and grow beyond their boundaries. In our example, he may actually help new flowers bloom several miles away. You may discover those flowers next year and appreciate their beauty, brightening your day. You may also use honey in your tea that was collected from the bee’s honeycomb. Several outstanding and necessary–positive–events out of one act of selfishness.

Not for artists and musicians alone

In our monetized society, we often mis-label musicians and artists as the only subsets of society that do what they love. “They’re the lucky ones,” we say, noting how they spend their days and nights engrossed in inspiration. We may secretly yearn for the same kind of existence, then quickly think to ourselves, “I could never do that. I’d never make a dime.”

Here’s the good news: doing what you love–whatever it is–helps both yourself and the world around you. Some people like to cook. Some people like to garden. Some people actually do enjoy things like analyzing spreadsheets or making speeches. When you enjoy your work or even your free-time activities, you’re setting into motion a wave of probabilities that positively affect the rest of the universe.

It’s when we cut ourselves off from our inspirational love that things start to sour. Doing things because we “have to” or “need to” may be a necessity for many of us (like trying to make a living) but we need to see that when we move out of that mindset, we actually open the door to new opportunities. It’s a scary thought for most of us to simply do what we’re inspired to do every minute of the day. Our ego-based minds can’t understand how that could possibly lead to anywhere good.

Small steps

So instead of quitting your job or walking out on your family, try a smaller experiment. Allow yourself the freedom to do whatever you want for 30 minutes a day. Set aside time to do this and don’t schedule anything during that special time. In the moment, ask your inner self, “what do I want to do right now, that would make me happy and feel good?” If you’re inclined to plug in your iPod and play air guitar in the basement, go ahead! If you want to take that walk on the beach and collect sea shells, go ahead! If you’re inspired to take a nap, that’s okay too. The point is to start allowing your ego some flexibility and helping it understand that following your passions will lead to success.

As a society, we’ve trained ourselves to mistrust our inner urges. We use our intellect and ego to destruct all of the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t do something. We believe that we’ll do something harmful to ourselves or others. This is why it’s important to start training (or re-training) our conscious thoughts into allowing the fulfillment of spontaneous impulses. Even if it’s just for a structured time of the day, you’ll soon realize how liberating it can be.

Trust

This process, this trust in the self and the universe, is key to the theory of fulfillment. You may never know or understand how following your inner inspiration leads to the fulfillment of others, but it’s important to have the trust that it does. Our own individual and collective impact on the world is staggering and is too difficult to describe. So accepting the theory that you are impacting the world in positive ways can help release your ego and allow it to turn to the creative pursuits you desire.

When you feel one of those impulsive hits, think of our friend the bee. Stop your inner watchdog for just a moment and allow yourself to emotionally feel what it would be like to allow your impulse. Even if you can’t engage in your activity right then and there, make yourself a promise to do so when you have time. Stop for a moment, close your eyes and emotionally feel how good it will be to engage the impulse. Trust it, trust the desire and trust that you’re inner self is speaking to you in clear language.

You, and the universe, will be glad you followed through.

Want to change the world? Start with a little trust

The world seems to be suffering from a lack of trust. You don’t need to look far to see this mistrust. It’s shows up in political commercials, acts of terrorism, entertainment and even religion. Mistrust disguises itself as the desire to change the world for the better. But to change the world for the better, we need to approach trust from another perspective: trust in our own selves first.

So how do you learn to trust in yourself let alone others? Do you start with trust and build upon it or is it something that must be earned incrementally? The easiest way is to start with where you are right now.

Affirming yourself

Trust and change come from self-affirmation. Affirming yourself is simply the acceptance of your entire self: the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. Affirmation takes into account that no one else in the universe is you. Your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses belong to no one else and realizing this, you can turn all of those attributes into the building blocks for a better world.

Self-affirmation doesn’t mean that you can’t actively wish to change some things about yourself. We all hold ideal versions of ourselves; it’s a part of our natural heritage. But self-acceptance acknowledges both the good and bad within and releases the resistance to not being there yet.

For example, I have a clear image of my ideal “professional writer” self. That self is successful, well received and well compensated. I’m certainly not there… yet. My writing needs work; my presentation skills need developing; my audience needs building. Still, I acknowledge those shortcomings and continue working toward my ideal self. In affirming myself where I am, I allow the creative universe to deliver new and exciting things to me, even if they don’t look exactly as I planned.

Start within and move out

I can hear the objections now: “That all sounds nice and pretty on paper, but I already trust myself, it’s others that I don’t!” you object. In conscious creation terms, it’s important to remember that the physical world is a reflection of your own beliefs, feelings and thoughts. Everything you experience first existed as a thought, an expectation of how reality should be. So when you experience something you don’t like or want, you must first look inward to discover the beliefs behind the experience.

As you begin to trust yourself, when you affirm yourself and your being, you automatically help others. Your energy is stabilized and clear. You don’t get in your own way by constantly second-guessing your decisions and your actions. Accepting “where you are” allows you to get to “where you want to be” with less baggage and less psychic weight.

Accepting yourself (and others) for what they are

When you hold no resistance between yourself and your ideal self, you can experience the same in others. It’s easier to understand this when you think of your mate or your pets. You may see the greatness in these individuals and creatures yet realize there are times when they don’t measure up to that greatness. However, your love transcends this gap and allows you to accept them as they are. Having that same loving regard for yourself opens you up to seeing the same in others whom you might normally mistrust.

Trust in yourself also means trusting those nudges your inner self gives you every day. Those impulses are messages from your inner (or higher) self, urging you to action that automatically benefits you and the rest of the world. Struggling against those natural urges creates more resistance and cuts you off from energy that can indeed change the world. Start with yourself, affirm your being and honor your spirit. The world will thank you.

 

 

Releasing attachment to desire

“Negative attachments, Richard. If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it, you just relax and remove it from your thinking. That’s all there is to it.”
–Illusions by Richard Bach

The quote above, from Richard Bach’s Illusions, got me thinking about ease and effortlessness in the conscious creation process. Whether we’re creating or removing something from our consciousness, it’s often hard to let go of our attachments and truly go on faith that what we want will be accomplished.

When we make a request of the universe, whether it’s through thought, verbalization or action, we are setting into motion a complex stream of energy. That energy, through the law of attraction, sets out to find like energy that will eventually lead to the manifestation we’ve requested. In what I’ll call the “creation universe,” energy is converted to the specific things we’ve requested: a new job, a computer, or a friendship. The same is true for “removing” things in our life, as we are in actuality creating a new situation instead of removing the old. But that creation universe works more efficiently when you take away your active concentration from it—that’s the rub.

The creation universe works on the concept of faith. In that universe, millions upon millions of computations are made to bring us circumstances, events and physical objects that will act in our best interest. The speed of this universe corresponds to the intensity of the request we make and our belief that it will be fulfilled. As junior creationists, we frequently hamper the process by checking and rechecking for results before they’re ready.

Think about making a hard-boiled egg. Your desire is the finished product—the cooked egg. Yet for most of us, checking for progress on our desires is like pulling the egg out of the water every 30 seconds and cracking it open, only to discover it’s not truly cooked. We curse the process and start again, giving it a little longer. With trial and error, we eventually reach our goal and learn to let the process complete itself and we’ll have breakfast. If only we could allow that for other parts of our lives, too.

Releasing attachments from our desires is a necessity for activating the creation universe and there are three main ingredients that are key to success.

Flexing your will

It takes willpower not to check for results on your desires. The will can be thought of as the active process of pointing your consciousness in a particular, focused direction. In this case, we’re actively aiming our consciousness away from the process itself. That is, we’re using our willpower to stop checking on the manifestation. Remember, the creation universe works with faith and that same faith is required of you.

In our current reality, we’re used to accepting as true only that which we can see, touch and feel. In other words, we have accepted the belief that something is not real unless it is already manifest and we can get our hands on it. In the conscious creation process (or in this case, faith-creation process) we accept that our new beliefs, feelings and thoughts have already created what we want and leave it at that.

Constantly checking on the process nullifies your faith, especially if what you want hasn’t appeared in your everyday world. And once you notice that, your disappointment or your doubt in the creation process will act with law of attraction to bring you more of the same: doubt and disappointment. Flex your will to not check so often.

Go with ease

As powerful as “flexing your will” sounds, it does need to be done with a gentle touch, the second ingredient to removing attachment from want. ‘Ease’ is opposite of ‘anxious,’ which is the energy we emote when we’re checking on our manifestations. Ease, instead, allows our consciousness to detach from the outcome and let the creation universe do its thing…bring our desires to us.

Ease is the energetic foundation of faith: the knowing and trustful assumption that our desires will be fulfilled and done so in a way that promotes our best outcome. When we’re attached to a particular outcome we’re anxious about it, which is why ease is so hard to come by. But learning to ease our way into faith gives us a head start on the creation process. It allows gentle energy to infuse the creation universe and start the ball rolling.

Allow the results

Once you’ve taken an easy, focused approach to conscious creation, you will—at some point—want to check for results. Here’s where allowing comes into play. Allowing means you’re open to the many ways the creation universe can bring your manifestation to you.

Like faith, allowing is a gentle process. It requires keeping enough attention to the possible outcomes that you are open to the fruits of your labor but not so much attention that you try to drive the process with negative energy. Attempting to control the process works against the creation universe by creating resistance. The process of allowing means paying attention to your impulses, as impulses will guide you to the very action or knowledge you need to allow your dreams to come true.

Like any new skill, learning detachment takes practice and patience. Whether you’re removing a cloud from the sky or trying to manifest your dream job, taking a relaxed approach will serve you well and bring you closer to your desires.

What’s pulling you in the right direction?

My dog Bloo is a bit headstrong. And nowhere is this more evident than when we are on a walk. When we first step out the door, his excitement is always evident, as he pulls me down the driveway, running to experience the world outside. And as I watched him on our walk today, I realized how faithfully he follows one of the best spiritual practices: he follows his interests.

For Bloo, those interests involve investigating particular smells and sights. Every few yards he locks down and puts his nose to the ground, uncovering information on what dogs and other wild animals have been nearby. Similarly, when he sees a dog or person he wants to meet, he immediately starts heading in their direction. And of course, whenever he does these things, he pulls heavily on the leash, not caring that my hand and arm are attached. He acts not only on instinct, but also on impulse—just the way we need to approach life.

As humans, we’ve conditioned ourselves out of following our impulses. Fear, obligation, duty and a lack-of-trust are responsible for this phenomenon. How many times a day do you feel the urge to do something, only to tell yourself instead, “I should be doing that”? Over time, those “shoulds” build up a cloudy haze over our natural impulses and leave us feeling spiritually opaque.

A return to impulse seeking is necessary for finding purpose and meaning in our lives. Natural impulses are directly tied into our own best interests, yet most people believe that following them is akin to distraction or, worse, that allowing those interests will lead to destruction or dead-end.

It’s important to know where impulses come from so that we can learn to trust and follow them regularly. Impulses are sent to our conscious mind from the inner self. The inner self is the part of you that is connected to All That Is–the cosmic framework that connects everything in the universe and beyond. Your inner self resides in this framework and has at its disposal all of the information needed to move you in the right direction. It knows how to piece together and orchestrate all of the minute details of any given situation so that you reach fulfillment.

It’s the intellect and the ego that put the breaks on impulses. The ego is that part of you that allows you to interact in the physical world. Its job is to be the watchdog of daily living, keeping you conscious of your environment and giving you the flexibility to react to circumstances as they arise. The intellect tries to make sense of your daily life and shares information with the ego to determine what it considers to be your next steps.

The ego and the intellect are not built to process more information than they can comfortably handle. They must be given information in bits and pieces from the inner self so as to not overload the mind. The inner self acts as a director and decides which pieces are important enough to cause the ego and the intellect to respond effectively.

But two things have happened to man that prevent impulses from taking center stage. First, our egos have become hardened. The ego now thinks that it must protect the body and conscious mind at all costs. It believes it has all the answers and has trained itself right out of alignment with the inner self. Likewise, the ego overreacts to negativity and therefore believes that any “bad” situation is bound to get worse. In this hardened state, it has a hard time distinguishing between “good” and “bad” and assumes the worse.

Second, our intellect stands in the way of information that comes from the inner self. This is a result of our modern society. We are trained from an early age to ignore or invalidate information that comes from non-traditional sources, such as intuition, “hunches,” dreams or the imagination. A once crystal clear bolt of information from the inner self is then deemed invalid by the intellect and subsequently dismissed.

Modern spiritualists often call for the annihilation of the ego, claiming that it must be destroyed in order to connect with the divine. This is, of course, an overreaction but we must learn to make the ego and intellect flexible again if we want to return to a life of purpose and meaning.

The process begins by recognizing when you are fueled by something and then allowing yourself to act on that impulse to the best of your ability. This must be done throughout the day, whenever such impulses arise. Often people beginning this journey deduce that impulses must be gigantic and clearly defined before acting. This isn’t so. It starts with small, sometimes even hazy feelings of interest to pique the conscious mind into action.

What interests you? What excites you? Quite frankly, what sounds better in any given situation? Would you rather go take a walk or re-grout the bathtub? It takes a conscious awareness of your choices to then make a decision based on how you feel in the moment. If you feel good, excited or even just “moved” in a particular direction, you’re allowing the sensation of an impulse to take hold. When you become aware of that sensation, take action.

This is a learning process and, like everything else, you must learn to follow your impulses within the framework of your own beliefs (see my blog post on beliefs for more information). Before you decide to chuck work for the day and take that walk, it might be better to start with smaller decisions that you can implement at a more open time. Then, as you become comfortable with the process, you can ease yourself into bigger decisions such as changing jobs or starting a relationship.

Like a dog on a walk, your inner self is guiding you—sometimes gently and sometimes forcefully—toward beneficial, positive actions that help you find your purpose and meaning in life. The trick is to let go of the leash and allow your inner self to take you to new and exciting areas.

Everything is well: intuitive hits through impulses

Part of Honoring Your Spirit is to fully understand that we are multidimensional beings. Not everything that happens can be rationally explained with hardcore facts and figures. It’s one thing to intellectually understand that we are multidimensional and another to experience it, even if it’s just a small, slight example.

Last week I was feeling a bit anxious that I hadn’t heard from a friend of mine in an online discussion group. Allison and I talk frequently and usually exchange emails at least a few times a day. There are days where we don’t hear from one another, so I was intrigued with my anxiousness this time. As I thought about it, I “concluded” that my intellect and ego were getting the better of me, that there really wasn’t anything to be concerned about. She was probably just enjoying the weekend or had gone somewhere with her husband. No big deal.

On Tuesday, I finally received communication from Allison. She wrote to me, and some others, that on Monday afternoon she went to lunch with some friends. They were each headed shopping afterward and as Allison pulled on to the highway, her car spun out on the wet road. She hit a concrete barrier and smashed both the rear and passenger sides of the car. She was unhurt but her car was un-drivable. To her credit, and as a testament to her spiritual development, she refocused herself and went about her day.

All of us in our discussion group were happy to hear from her and even happier to hear that she was safe and unhurt. I wrote to her about my feeling “strange” that I hadn’t heard from her and also owned up to my thought that it was primarily ego driven. Then, later that day I get an email from her:

“Chris—you shared this before you knew about my accident!!!??? WTF?? I am astonished.”

The email was a notification from Facebook stating that I had posted something on her wall. I honestly didn’t remember what I had sent so I clicked on it. Then, I vividly remembered.

On Monday afternoon, I was surfing Facebook and saw a video on a friend’s wall. The video link was written in Russian, so I had no real idea of what the it was about. I clicked and watched. It was a short clip of a security camera capturing a car accident and the near miss of a pedestrian who was nearby. In the clip, two cars collide and narrowly miss a man standing by the side of the road. Even the debris caused by the collision roars toward the man, yet he is able to step away without one bit of metal hitting him. I thought how many people would view the clip and think, “wow, he was really lucky!” Not me, I looked it and thought, “Wow, he really does live in a safe universe.”

I thought of my friend Allison and decided to post the link on her Facebook wall. In the comments section (remember, the video title is written in Russian), I wrote, “You are protected.” I thought the clip was an excellent reminder that we are always safe and protected by the universe when we believe that we are. Then, I went about my day.

We were both astonished. I had unknowingly posted a video of a car accident to her wall with the headline, “you are protected.” The post probably came a few hours after her accident. Yet I hadn’t communicated with her in days and she didn’t tell me about the accident until the day after.

The skeptical person would simply chalk this up to circumstance. Yet for those of us studying the nature of reality, it really speaks volumes. When you break it down, it’s actually a very small—but concrete—example of the way ESP works. Somehow I had unconsciously picked up on her accident and gave her a reminder about being protected by the universe. The experience is reassuring on some levels. Primarily, it’s easy to read about instances of ESP yet harder to know when you’ve actually had an intuitive hit.

The entire episode became a great tool in our discussion group. It turns out that many of us were anxious about not hearing from Allison yet most of us were cautious about sharing that anxiety.

In hindsight what strikes me most is the fact that the entire video post was so normal, non-monumental. The original post was from an acquaintance, not a good friend. I normally wouldn’t have clicked on a link on his page. So what made me do it this time? When I watched the clip, I immediately thought of Allison yet it wasn’t because I felt that she was in danger, it only seemed to be a nice reminder to us both about living in a safe universe. Also, I had thought so little about the post that I forgot the entire incident until she emailed me about it.

Intuition comes from the inner self, that part of us that’s tuned into the universe and has access to information our conscious mind does not. Intuitional energy is usually very subtle. Most people would describe intuitive hits as a general feeling of “knowing” or feel the energy sensation in the solar plexus. What most people don’t realize, however, is that intuition is constantly leading us in positive directions through impulses. “Turn here now,” “I think I’ll call Jill,” “I’m going to run out and get a cup of coffee.” Those are all, on the surface, innocuous parts of our daily lives. But when we tune into them and allow them, we’re actually following our impulses.

The problem comes from ignoring impulses, which we have been conditioned to do in today’s world. On their own, impulses can sometimes seem out of place and therefore not worthy of information from an official source. Learning to recognize, accept and trust your impulses is a key in honoring your spirit, as the intuitive knowledge they contain is extremely valuable.

Through this small example, I was able to see that the impulse to share a video was actually a sign that I had tapped into what was happening with a friend. Subconsciously I knew she was all right even though my conscious mind and ego were thinking differently. Learning to discern and work with these two different facets of ourselves can lead us in exciting and fulfilling directions.