New moment point resolutions

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Eve nor am I a fan of new year’s resolutions. As a conscious creationist, I believe that every moment presents us with a fresh start, a new chance to make decisions about life and our creation of it.

So instead of new year’s resolutions, I propose new moment point resolutions—choices we can make at any time of the year—to help guide us toward a more fulfilling relationship with ourselves and the universe.

Right here, right now, I resolve to:

1. Live in the present moment as much as possible. Living in the moment keeps me from rehashing the past or worrying about the future.
2. Take responsibility for my life by taking charge of my thoughts and emotions. The only true command we have over life is our beliefs about it and that means being more familiar with and conscious of those beliefs. Keep the ones that serve you and discard the rest.
3. Realize there is choice in every moment. When life presents us with uncomfortable or unwanted experiences, it’s important to remember that the choices we make in each and every moment point build the foundation for what happens “next.” Choosing new thoughts, beliefs and emotions in the moment can dramatically alter the next step on the journey.
4. Take time daily to revel in my gratitude. When you’re filled with delight over the things you have in your life, the more they increase. Try spending a few minutes every day to look for positive aspects of your experience and be thankful for them.
5. Let go of fear in all its forms. Fear keeps us stuck in present experience and draws to us more things to fear. Choosing to believe in safety creates more safety and shifts our vibration to a calmer experience.
6. Remember that waking reality is a mirror to my inner state of mind. Every experience, no matter how small or seemingly trivial, is a reflection of my thoughts, beliefs and emotions. We can use our present experiences to understand the deeper beliefs that create them and change them with concerted effort.
7. Understand that we are “all one.” Friends, enemies, animals and nature are all teachers, for they are extensions of ourselves. When we remember this, we can be more compassionate, more understanding and more purposeful in our interactions with the world.

Take control of your life by choosing to create the life you want to lead. Use these principles as guides to help you create your best life yet and Honor Your Spirit in the process.

That’s just one probable version of reality

It took a swamp cooler to remind me that I make my own reality.

For those unfamiliar with this marvelous invention, a swamp cooler—or more properly an evaporative cooler—is basically a giant fan that cools air through the evaporation of water. Whereas air conditioners remove moisture from the air, an evaporative cooler adds humidity, a wonderful addition to the dry air here in Colorado. It sounds odd but it strangely works in our climate.

When I came home from work this afternoon, the house was very warm. With a 97-degree temperature outside, the inside temperature wasn’t much better at 85. The weather forecasters informed us that we hit a record high temperature for the day and I could feel it.

I’ve been having some troubles with my swamp cooler and I knew I had to go up onto the roof and hose down the pads to get more water in the system. It’s not an ideal solution but with just a few weeks of summer left, I’ve made due with this adjustment.

After changing clothes and climbing up on the roof, I liberally doused the cooler with fresh, cool water. As I’ve been doing for the last week or so, I climbed back down the ladder and went inside to crank the fan to high speed to help cool the house.

Silence.

The damn fan had stopped working. Discouragement set in quickly as did a barrage of negative thoughts: Great, the swamp cooler quits on the hottest day of the year. It’s going to be 90 in the house in no time. The poor dog must be miserable inside. The belt on the fan must have snapped—where am I going to find one?

The upside of the situation: I automatically kicked into “thought observation” mode. I suddenly became aware of what I was thinking and feeling and it wasn’t serving me well. I recognized how my thoughts were projecting a negative situation into the future (it will be 90 in no time) and I wasn’t giving myself room to think…or breathe.

Since I’ve been working with the exercises given by Lynda Madden Dahl in her book Living a Safe Universe Vol. 2, I’ve become quick on my feet when it comes to my thoughts. Through the years I’ve done lots of self-development work with my thoughts: cataloging them, examining them, arranging them, and attempting to direct them. Some of these exercises have worked and sometimes I fall flat on my face.

In her Living a Safe Universe books, Lynda helps us understand the mechanics of conscious creation; that is, she explains how our thoughts actually shape our individual realities and in Vol. 2, she helps us work with our thoughts to actively change our reality in conscious directions. She’s been able to tie together for me some loose strings hanging about my head when it comes to my thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

I decided to go outside and stand in the middle of my back yard. I intuitively knew that I had to work on what Lynda calls “commanding our moment point,” when you knowingly and purposely engage your thinking in a different way than you’re normally familiar. In this new approach, you don’t focus on what “is” if you aren’t pleased with what “is” as I wasn’t at that moment.

Instead, you gently turn your thoughts in the direction of the desired outcome, knowing that in that special moment in time, you’re planting a powerful seed of intention. You’re setting the stage for the next “moment point” when the fruits of that seed may manifest. You agree to set aside normal cause-and-effect thinking and just for a moment, accept that your new intention will come to pass, not focusing on all the things that could interfere with the manifestation.

That’s just one probable version of reality.

The thought popped into my head as the sun beat down on my brow. As I stood there, aware of my negative thoughts and wondering what to do with them, this new thought intruded forcefully into my awareness. That’s just one probable version of reality. There it was again and I took notice. Instead of thinking what to do next or even what to think next, I cleared my moment point.

I felt the sun on my face and the grass under my feet. Closing my eyes, I imagined what my negative thoughts about the swamp cooler would look like as a clump of dirt and then playfully imagined a giant broom sweeping the debris out of my inner field of vision. The imagery calmed me down and opened up some space in my mind. Once again, the thought returned: That’s just one probable version of reality.

The intrusive statement felt comforting to me. It reminded me that nothing in my life is set in stone and that I have choices about what I think, how I feel and what I can experience. I decided then and there that even if the swamp cooler didn’t work, I’d be okay. I felt soothed by the experience and headed inside.

Out of habit, as soon as I was inside the house, I reached for the dial on the swamp cooler. I had turned it off when I realized the fan wasn’t working. I clicked the dial to “high cool” without thinking about it and walked into the kitchen before I realized the fan was now indeed blowing forcefully and delivering cool air to the house.

Skeptical friends would give me “rational” ideas on why the fan was now working. You probably just got the fan wet and it shorted out. There’s a loose wire in there somewhere and it wiggled back in place. Those ideas don’t matter to me, for I know in my heart that the magical approach to living works.

I had cleared my moment point, resetting my automatic and often negative mindset to zero and allowed my mind to focus on options. I didn’t even necessarily have to think about what I wanted to happen, like the fan magically working again. I simply needed a reminder that the next moment point becomes impregnated with thoughts from the current moment point. That’s just one probable version of reality.

What probable version of reality do I want to experience instead? That’s the next logical thought to the original statement and yet I didn’t even need to think that far in advance. Only the acquiescence to the idea of probable events and my role in creating them was what I needed to get the swamp cooler running once more.

For now, I’m happily writing this post in my much cooler house and occasionally glance up and say a silent “thank you” to the swamp cooler. I also thank my inner self for giving me a mantra I can use when confronted with other unwanted events in my life: That’s just one probable version of reality.

Thoughts on the wind

Your thoughts are powerful little seeds.

Spiritually speaking, they pack quite a punch, for your thoughts are made up of the energy of the universe. That energy creates your body, the Earth and all of your daily interactions.

Each of your thoughts—from the tiniest to the most grand—has the ability to manifest in countless ways. With practice and patience, you can help steer your thoughts in positive, purposeful directions and in those circumstances, you may be pleased with the results.

But other times, you simply let your thoughts leave your awareness without giving them (excuse the expression) a second thought. Where do those thoughts go? Do they disappear into the ether? Do they land somewhere unintended and germinate?

When it comes to all those thoughts in your head, it’s important to remember that you have a powerful team working on your behalf. The universe itself, in coordination with your inner self, helps steer those thoughts to the places they can do the most good. Thoughts want to manifest; they want to express themselves and evolve and grow.

Like seeds, thoughts have the ability to take root in the right soil. The universe then acts like a loving wind, carrying those seeds to just the right place at just the right time for them to take hold.

You may not always be able to watch those thought-seeds sail into the wind and follow them to their destination. So how do you ensure that your crop is bountiful? You start by becoming gently aware of your thoughts. You notice them, inspect them and gauge them against your life. Are your thought-seeds producing things you love or are you planting unwanted weeds?

Once you get a handle on what you are thinking, spend some time deliberately choosing thought-seeds that will grow into things you want. This is a numbers game: see if you can produce more positive thought-seeds than negative. Since you don’t know where the universe will send those seeds, make sure the ones you release into the air are something you can appreciate down the road.

After all, if you’re going to walk among your thoughts, you may as well enjoy a beautiful path along the way.

 

 

Reflections of the inner world

The reality you experience starts with the thoughts in your mind.

If you’re new to conscious creation, this can be a difficult concept to accept. Heck, even if you’ve studied conscious creation or law of attraction at length, this can be a hard concept to accept. But in basic terms, the physical world—your “outer” world—is a reflection of your internal thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

The physical world is reflecting your inner state of being. It’s a pretty cool process really, since it allows you to see your creations with fresh eyes. It allows you to react to your own inner reality and make changes as necessary. You create with your mind first; the universe then makes those creations physical so you can check your work.

I remind myself of this frequently since I, like other people, get wrapped up in believing that I have no control over my existence. I forget that I am responsible for the life I lead and I frequently forget that I have a voice in the reality that I experience. It sounds simple in theory, yes, but not as easy to implement in daily life.

So what kind of reality are you experiencing in this moment? Are you happy and joyful? Sad and fearful? Successful and exuberant? If you like the current state of your life, or at least if you’re enjoying the present moment, keep at it. You’re doing exactly what you need to be doing.

When you don’t like your present circumstances, however, or when you find yourself experiencing pain, sadness, depression or other negative emotions, it’s time to go inside and do some investigating. What are you thinking about? How are you feeling? What daydreams have been running through your mind?

So much of our conscious awareness is unconscious. We don’t take the time to investigate our own active thoughts or take the time to become aware of what we’re feeling. If we don’t stop and take the time to do this, a lot can slip by under the radar. It’s not that we purposely want to lead unfulfilling lives, it’s that we don’t take the time to apply awareness to our inner world and change course if necessary.

Sometimes this process of going inside can result in quick changes; other times it may take a while for physical reality to catch up. Either way, the only way to make true, hardcore changes to your life is to adjust your own internal thoughts, emotions and beliefs.

Last weekend I was driving in the mountains in Colorado. Summer weekend travel on the interstate can be anything but pleasant and I certainly got caught up in my own “reflected reality.” I was focusing on the heavy traffic, rude drivers, oppressive heat and road construction. For almost two hours, I found myself thinking about “negative” things: problems at work, financial stress, and lack of time to name a few. I was caught up in a living reflection of my own negative creations.

When I turned off the interstate and eased onto a county road, I caught myself. I realized I had spent the previous few hours ruminating about problems and I made the conscious decision to change my thoughts. I decided to look for 10 things that made me feel good in any way possible: big or small. I started with noticing the deep blue sky and puffy white clouds floating by. I reminded myself that it felt good to be up early in the morning and getting out of town to spend some time in retreat. I stopped and got a milkshake, which then added to my good mood. The tide was now turning in my favor.

As I rounded the hillside close to my summer retreat, I noticed the small pond below me. The water was perfectly still and reflected the brilliant sky and mountains behind it. I stopped the car, took out my phone and snapped a picture to remind myself of the beauty before me. As I looked at that picture through rest of the weekend, I was reminded how easy it was to change my thoughts and allow the world to reflect a better, more pleasing reality.

The outer world is a reflection of your inner world, so take some time today to craft the best inner world possible. Think about the good things happening in your life. Take time to appreciate small things that catch your eye. Realize that the universe is conspiring to help you develop in the best way possible. Hold those positive thoughts and images in your mind and return to them time and again until your outer world reflects that inner landscape.

You never know what beauty you may find.

 

 

Bearing witness to the lessons of nature

I admit it: I’ve been a bit of a voyeur this past week. A friend sent me a link to Explore.org, where you can watch one of several webcams strategically placed for an unobstructed, secret view into nature. My productivity has suffered as a result of this find but my spiritual satisfaction has definitely improved.

The Brooks Falls Brown Bear & Salmon Cam allows us to peek into the hunting habits of bears in Katmai National Park in Alaska. It’s really quite incredible. For hours on end, these magnificent creatures wade into the cold water to grab a bite to eat. If you’re a nature lover, I highly recommend a look.

After hours of study, I’ve come to recognize specific bears, each with a unique identity and personality. It’s fun watching their hunting tactics: some sit on top of the falls, waiting for the spawning fish to jump up into their mouths while others prefer the deep recesses of the bottom falls, trying to dive in and catch a mouthful of the Alaskan delicacy.

There is something deeply spiritualistic and fulfilling watching this spectacular sight.

The bears are not encumbered with the same spiritual concerns that we are. They don’t create vision boards with pictures of tasty Salmon. They don’t create daily goals for how many fish to catch and I doubt they spend much time sitting quietly visualizing a successful hunt. I also have serious doubts that they spend even one minute of time examining their beliefs about attracting abundance into their lives.

Obviously, there are differences in the types of consciousness of humans and bears so we have different priorities. And I’m not bashing the very spiritual tools that I write about so frequently. Instead, I think there are some things we can learn from these furry creatures that apply to our own conscious creation efforts.

Expectation

Bears know where the Salmon are located. One look at the webcam and you’ll see exactly where the spawning fish jump up the falls. Once they get into the river, the bears know they’re in the right place. From there, they simply expect that they’ll catch a tasty morsel. They’re not thinking about what happens if they don’t catch any fish. They’re not concerned about whether their hunting methods are better or worse than their friends’.

Expectation is an extremely important and necessary component of conscious creation. Our expectations create the very reality we experience. So when we want to become deliberate creators, we must drop a lot of our preconceived ideas about life, the environment, and ourselves.

Instead of lack, we must expect abundance. Instead of failure, we must expect success. Instead of roadblocks, we must expect cooperation. It’s time to stop judging others and ourselves and time to turn our minds in the direction of the things we desire. It’s not easy to do, but it’s imperative that we learn this crucial lesson.

Expectation runs in the background of your mind, so it can be tricky to readjust it if necessary. Upbringing, past experiences and beliefs all contribute to your expectations so it’s important to first become consciously aware of your expectations and determine if they are serving you well or holding you back.

Patience

It’s hard to be patient when you’re hungry—just don’t tell the bears. Patience is another crucial ingredient in the conscious creation mix and it’s one of the most common reasons we don’t reach our goals. Impatience is a focus on lack, specifically on the lack of goal achievement.

In conscious creation terms, we become frustrated if something doesn’t manifest when we want it. And when we don’t get that treasured “something,” we feel like we’ve done something wrong. In absolute terms, we’ve stopped expecting that we’re going to receive what we desire and begin to doubt the process.

Expectation needs patience in order to work. A patient mindset tells the universe (and yourself) that you know you’re going to receive your desire. But when you introduce impatience into your reality, you’re telling the universe that you doubt it will deliver the goods. And thanks to the law of attraction, your new thoughts of doubt and lack will bring you more of the same.

Patience keeps your thoughts on par with your goal and allows the universe to set into motion all of the necessary ingredients that are needed to manifest that goal. Don’t get caught in the trap of becoming impatient. It will happen.

Impulses

Impulses come from deep in the psyche. They are the driving force behind our daily lives—urging us to action on anything from eating a sandwich to picking a different route home from work. Unfortunately, we’ve trained ourselves be distrustful our own impulses. We’ve come to rely primarily on the intellect to guide our actions and all too often we ignore the very basic and primal calling card of the inner self.

It’s hard to see on the webcam, but our bear friends rely on impulses, too. Watching the bears, I am fascinated by one sow in particular. She stands in a part of the river with fish jumping up straight in the air in front of her. With little effort, she can easily catch plenty of fish in a five-foot circle around her. Yet frequently, she stands up and moves to another part of the river that doesn’t look as active. Within moments, she’ll dunk her head under water and pull up a big catch.

In the animal kingdom, we refer to this as “instinct.” We label the bears’ ability to successfully hunt as an unconscious assimilation of evolution and intuitive know-how. Yet the bears are simply following their own impulses—a deep urge to move to another part of the river. They don’t second-guess those impulses—they act on them. Impulses are designed to lead you toward your greatest fulfillment, so learning to recognize and act on impulses takes you one step closer to successfully reaching your goals.

Living in the present moment

Have you ever absorbed yourself so fully in something that you lost track of time? If you have, then you’ve had a taste of living fully in the present moment. Living in present time doesn’t mean you need to stop and meditate, although it’s a nice, refreshing thing to do. It means giving your attention fully to the task at hand, whether you’re washing the dishes, paying your taxes or feeling at one with the universe.

Our bear friends are masters at this, hands down. Watch them and their attention to the hunt. For extra detail, pay close attention to the sea gulls that circle the bears while they hunt. The gulls gladly clean up any discarded pieces of fish and they frequently walk or fly within inches of the big furry creatures. Yet the bears are not distracted. They look intently into the river, placing their attention on the fish below, patiently waiting for the right time to act.

Enjoyment & Gratitude

In between meals, it’s not uncommon to see the bears playing on the riverbanks. Sometimes they’re splashing around in the shallow water, other times they’re rolling around playfully with each other. It really looks like they’re having fun and that’s an important takeaway.

Life is meant to be enjoyable. It’s the intellect and the ego that usually cause us to cease having fun. We become encumbered with too much thought. We get caught up in thoughts of the past or worries of the future and we miss the opportunity to have fun in the present moment.

When you set your intention to have fun no matter what you’re doing, you set up a vivacious environment for yourself and the universe. The world can’t help but respond with more things to enjoy—perhaps even more fun than what you’re doing right now.

Finally, an attitude of gratitude seals the deal on that wonderful environment you’re experiencing. Gratitude broadcasts a feeling of thankfulness, peacefulness and abundance that the universe then sends right back to you. Gratitude is a given for the bears; their contentment from a great day of fishing is natural. But when we as humans lose our own natural sense of gratitude, it’s important to take a moment and reconnect with it purposely.

For now, I’m grateful to this wonderful website for allowing me to watch these fuzzy creatures splashing around in the wilderness. It’s like Salmon for the soul.

Growing your spirit in tough conditions

Use your thoughts, beliefs and imagination as fertilizer for your soul.

I love spring. Seriously, I really love it. Here in Colorado, the snow is finally starting to melt and the first signs of rebirth are emerging on the landscape.

Glimpses of the Earth’s awakening are everywhere, from tiny green buds on the trees to the appearance of baby squirrels in the back yard. I find these reminders of spring comforting and inspiring especially when I take the time to notice them.

For example, yesterday I noticed a small patch of grass that sprouted up against the back wall of my building at work. In the middle of an untended and unused alleyway, this little plant pushed through mud and concrete to bask in the morning sun. The grounds crew does not tend to it. There is no fertilizer applied. Instead, one lone grass seed decided that conditions were right for it to sprout and grow.

The same thing applies to your spirit. Your soul has the amazing ability to turn any situation into fertile soil that helps you grow and develop. Where you see negativity and turmoil, your soul sees a nutrient-rich environment, selecting those ingredients that benefit your highest purpose and service to the universe.

Too often in self-development, we tend to concern ourselves with creating the perfect environment before feeling secure enough to grow. We concentrate on the barriers to growth and try unsuccessfully to control the world around us before allowing our own fulfillment.

The nutrients your soul craves are the positive thoughts, images and beliefs that come from your inner self. When you take the time to cultivate—consciously cultivate—positive and constructive thought forms, you automatically fertilize the very world you live in. No matter the physical circumstances you find yourself in, you can use your thoughts and beliefs to change your outer environment. Your spirit can flourish in any environment…if you allow it.

 

 

 

 

Have a talk with yourself

 

We spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to convince others of our worthiness. We talk, write, sell, present and plead for others to see us for who we are.

But those actions only speak to the ego. They are false ideas of the self.

To live from a truly authentic place, you need to convince yourself of your own worthiness. You need to see it first-hand. You need to understand and feel your own worth and place in the universe. You must keep your mind focused on your own sense of value and learn to believe in it wholeheartedly.

When you do, others will automatically see you for who you are: a beautiful extension of All That Is. Pure energy. Pure brilliance. Pure love.

 

Death of the salesman

The sales pitch started over coffee.

Actually, it started over spilled coffee. I had unscrewed the carafe on my coffee pot a little too far causing the entire pot of hot java to spew across the counter and onto my freshly pressed slacks. It was going to be one of those days. Moments earlier I thought how good I looked–almost like a salesman—coiffed and polished and ready to take on anything.

“Really? This is how the day is going to start?” I asked of the universe. I didn’t expect an answer but felt that asking the question would somehow quell any further drama. I tried to brush off my anger and simply get on with the day. No sense in crying over spilled coffee.

Not willing to go without my ritual coffee, I decided to head over to the local coffee shop. As I walked in, I saw one of my favorite baristas, Karen, a young woman who always has a smile on her face and a cheerful attitude. I greeted her as warmly as I could without any coffee in my system.

“How’s it going?” I asked.

“Oh my God! I’m so tired this morning. I didn’t sleep a wink and I feel like I’m in a fog. I have a paper due for class later today and I didn’t even get it finished,” she replied. Her response was like projectile negativity, it came out hard and fast and messy. She was trying desperately to sell me on the idea that her morning was rough.

It almost worked until my own inner salesman stepped forward. He quickly realized he could outsell her. She was but a mere amateur. He stooped down to her level as he started his sales pitch.

“Oh I know. I’ve been having trouble sleeping for a week and feel like a walking zombie. My dog just had surgery and I’ve been so worried about him and now I’m headed to work and it’s going to be a crazy, crazy day. Did I mention the dog might have cancer?”

It didn’t stop there. We traded tales of woe for about five minutes while she prepared my order, trying to out-do each other with how terrible the day was and how much worse it was going to get.

“Wow, I had no idea,” she told me. My salesman had won this round. I took my order to go and headed to the office.

Moments later, I was talking out loud to the universe again. This time, I was complaining about the lack of parking near my office. Why aren’t there any parking spaces? Why do I always have to park on the street? I’ll probably end up with a ticket by noon. Why do they always have to lock the back door? Why…. Why… Why….

I looked forward to an evening out with my mom and aunt. The two had just returned from vacation and I was excited to hear about their adventure. But as we sat down for dinner, the conversation quickly turned to my problems. I told them about my job, my hatred of my job, my dog and his surgery and generally anything that could convince them that life pretty much sucked.

The salesman had returned yet again, wanting to close another deal. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he convinced everyone that life does indeed suck and that they should buy into that concept wholeheartedly. Instead of money or a fat bonus, my salesman sought different kinds of commissions: pity, nurturing, understanding and sympathy. He earned his commission easily over dinner.

Driving home, however, I finally woke up to the salesman’s presence. I had grown so accustomed to his actions and to his sales pitch that I didn’t even realize he had accompanied me all day. I thought back to his presentations, remembering each interaction where he sought to change people’s minds. I remembered his actions, the feeling in his voice and the high-pressure tactics he used to sell his wares. Who exactly was this salesman and where did he come from? I wondered as I pulled in the driveway.

As I undressed for bed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Suddenly the salesman had a name, a personality. Finally I knew whom I was dealing with. There he was, standing naked before me: the salesman was my ego.

He’s a clever guy, that ego. He had been wearing my clothes, acting like “me” and taking on my personality. In actuality, he had taken over my personality and I unwittingly became part of his growing sales force. Our goal: to convince others that life is hard, that you can’t get ahead no matter how hard you try and that the universe is always working against you.

Seeing my ego for what it was, I could then get a better grasp on this whole “reality creation” business I write about. Reviewing my day, I thought about all of the times I silently (or sometimes loudly) questioned the universe about my problems. I revisited the conversations I had with others when I shared my challenges, my frustrations and my lack of conviction. I saw all too clearly that I was arguing for my own limitations. And what shocked me most of all was the realization that I wasn’t just trying to convince others that the universe was against me, I was trying to convince myself.

I’m not trying to bash the ego, for I believe it serves a valuable purpose. It is designed to help us navigate the physical world, to help us make sense of it and to work with the intellect and our spirit to create the life we experience. But the ego gets rigid and frightened, and when it does, it overreacts. The ego has a limited scope, unable to see the big picture of the universe like other parts of our spirit can.

The ego likes justification. So those times when we feel stuck and unable to move forward, the ego ups the sales pitch a few notches, telling the world, “See! I told you so. There’s no way out of this mess!” A deceptive sales pitch? You betcha, but it’s an effective one.

When we use language to convince others of our limitations, we end up limiting ourselves further. When we habitually complain about our problems, we end up causing more of them. When we justify unsavory events as happening to us, we create more of the same. It’s a vicious cycle and if it’s not intercepted, it ends up causing more damage.

Take note of your own words and thoughts. Are you arguing “what is” in order to feel justified? Do you tell others about your problems in hopes of gaining sympathy? Are you acting like a salesman or saleswoman, convincing others that you have it worse off than anyone else?

If you find yourself answering affirmatively to any of these statements, you are becoming adept at sales. In these cases, you’re not out to convince anyone but yourself of your limitations, so it’s time to switch to a new strategy.

Try a new sales technique, a gentler one. I don’t necessarily mean becoming Pollyanna and lying about how you feel, but rather gently switching your focus to telling the story you want to live. Talk about things that are true and positive. Remember what you love and enjoy and tell others about them. Above all, remind yourself constantly that just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for positive change. There is room for change and talking about it in the affirmative helps get the energy moving in that direction.

As for my own salesman, I’ve decided to let him switch careers. I now see him as a “leadership trainee,” showing others that it’s possible to live a good life. His technique will be that of example, letting others see, first-hand, how good life can be and letting them ask, “what’s your secret?” No more selling for this ego, he’s retired from that position.

Now about that commission….

 

 

 

 

Learning to tap dance

Shirley Temple was onto something. That perky little girl in old black and white movies always looked at life in a positive manner and found reason after reason to tap dance her way through any difficulty.

No, I’m not going to put on patent leather shoes and do a little jig across the living room floor.  I’m not that coordinated…or perky.

I will, however, sing the praises of a self-development tool called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), commonly known as “tapping.” The technique is used for releasing emotional traumas and negative/limiting beliefs as well as for intercepting physical and emotional pain. It looks silly and a lot of times it feels silly to do it, but in many cases, it works. I’ll explain the process shortly.

I learned about tapping years ago when I saw a YouTube video about the process. The video host, Jessica Ortner, promised it could help things like headaches, tension, stress and a host of other ailments. At the time, I was engrossed in researching any type of self-development tool on the market and I learned the basics through websites and a few free videos.

Like many self-development tools, you only get out of the process what you put into it, and I wasn’t really feeling too anxious about anything in particular. So I tapped a few times, labeled the process as “interesting” and filed it away in the back of my brain. There it sat with other things I have tried over the years, including meditation, the Sedona Technique, yoga, and other spiritual/development processes that promise self-fulfillment and peace.

Fast forward to last week, when I was feeling more stressed than I had in years. Work was out-of-this-world crazy and busy, my home life was distressing thanks to a bad roommate situation and my dog was just home from surgery and needing to recover. I was angry at the world and angry with myself and felt like I had no refuge in which to hide.

For the previous few weeks, I turned to medicine to relieve my stress. Painkillers and muscle relaxants helped ease the physical stress in my body but the effectiveness was quickly wearing off. I was also not sleeping without the use of some pretty heavy-duty sleeping pills–something that worried me. So when I found myself sleep deprived, anxious and tense, I knew something was going to give.

Monday, I reached my limit. I snapped at coworkers and yelled at my best friend (my little dog, Bloo). Muscles in my back started to spasm and I could barely turn my neck from side to side. Knowing I still had work to do that night that would require concentration, I knew I couldn’t medicate myself into oblivion so I started thinking about alternative ways to get me back on my feet.

That’s when tapping/EFT came to mind. I had recently recommended the process to an acquaintance who complained of migraine headaches but I had otherwise not thought about using EFT on myself. Remembering the simplicity of EFT, I sat down on the couch and started tapping.

The technique

The premise to EFT/tapping is simple. You think about—out loud—something that’s bothering you and begin tapping the pads of your fingers on specific points on your head, neck and torso. The points correspond to meridian points used for centuries in Chinese medicine and acupuncture. Meridian points are considered “energy centers” where the body stores and regulates the pulses of electricity that make up our universe (the “life force” of our physical universe).

As you begin tapping rhythmically on these meridian points, you send signals to your brain and body to relax. The body calms and energy starts flowing normally through your system. As I noted, it’s not too unlike acupuncture but without the needles. The process begins with a set-up statement, where you acknowledge the problem before you as well as a reminder that you “accept yourself deeply and completely.” After the set-up statement, you tap through the points on your head, working your way down the body as you talk about the problem aloud.

When I began tapping, I was reminded of the silliness of the process. It feels weird to do it the first few times, although I remembered easily the meridian points and the process itself. Wanting anything that might give me relief, I tapped through several rounds on my most pressing issues.

Those several rounds turned into over an hour of work. I tapped on feeling overwhelmed at work, I tapped on the stress with my roommate, I tapped on the feeling of helplessness I felt for my recovering puppy. After every few rounds of tapping, I checked the effectiveness of the session, using a 0-10 scale of intensity to see if I was making progress. I was.

I kept at it for almost two hours, with a few breaks thrown in for good measure. And in the end, I was…tired. I had reduced my stress to a “0” or “1” on most issues and I felt an ease and comfort in my body that I hadn’t felt in quite a while. My body had released a great amount of tension and I felt free. I was also sleepy and decided to jump into bed and capitalize on the feeling. That night, I slept eight solid hours without a sleeping pill or Advil and woke up feeling great.

As luck would have it, or more accurately as Law of Attraction would have it, the next day I saw an advertisement for a new book on tapping from Nick Ortner, one of the big names in EFT/tapping. His book, The Tapping Solution, had just been published that week and I noted the synchronicity. The Tapping Solution is an excellent introduction to the modality of tapping and takes the reader through the common uses for tapping as well as provides sample scripts to read while banging away at the head and chest.

Going deeper

While I had great success the first night of using tapping, my next attempt wasn’t so fruitful. I tried to tap on recurring issues that were bothersome but not intense, and felt like I wasn’t making any headway. Using guidance from Ortner, I pressed on and continued to look for the root causes of my stress and the beliefs behind them.

The Tapping Solution is a great resource for anyone studying conscious creation. The precepts are the same: identify limiting beliefs you may hold and either release them or change them into positive beliefs. At the same time, you can learn to let go of emotions, memories and blockages that keep you from feeling healthy, centered and strong.

On the second night of tapping, I began to develop a throbbing muscle spasm in the middle of my back. I tried a round of tapping with a general focus on the spasm itself as well as the pain it was causing. After 15 minutes, the pain was still there and the muscle would not relax. So, I tapped on my frustration that tapping wasn’t working and that I’d be stuck with this ailment for quite a while. Again, there was little relief.

Intuitively, I knew that I wasn’t going deep enough. I believed my emotions and thoughts were causing the back pain but I couldn’t seem to connect with the right emotion, belief or memory that was causing the tension. I took a break and let my subconscious play with the thought while I brushed my teeth. That’s when I had my mini “ah ha” moment. The pain had started a few days earlier when I took the dog to the vet.

My first reaction was that the spasm was simply a pulled muscle, caused by lifting the 113 lb. dog into the back of my truck. A pesky little voice inside my head said there was more too it, however.

I sat down and tapped again. This time, I focused on my feelings about the dog, noting sadness about him having surgery and a feeling of fear about the diagnosis. I also became conscious of a helpless feeling, not knowing exactly how I was going to keep him well during his recovery.

I consciously and slowly tapped through all of these feelings, checking every few minutes for improvement in my back. On the last round, I tapped on the feeling of guilt. I felt guilty for him not being able to run and play while he healed and wondered if I was giving myself sympathy pain, constricting my own movement in a show of sympathy. I tapped one more round when I felt the shift.

Just like that, the muscle relaxed. I felt the pain go from an “8” to a “0” in just under two minutes. I had found the “in” I was looking for.

It’s not a sweet trip to the candy shop, it’s hard work

Much of Ortner’s book sounds like an infomercial for EFT/tapping. Story after story of successful EFT experiences sounds impressive until you reach a roadblock in your own development. Still, there are a lot of scientific and medical studies to back-up the claims on EFT and thousands of satisfied customers who have used tapping to move through tough issues and physical challenges.

As he explains in the book, tapping is best used consistently and thoroughly. Ortner lays out questions to ask yourself about a myriad of subjects including health, relationships, finances, phobias, trauma and more. This is where the real work begins. After identifying symptoms, emotions, memories and beliefs, you tap on each area until you feel relief.

Sometimes there are great shifts in energy—such as my back relaxing—and sometimes it’s a more subtle energy shift that takes a few days to recognize.

For example, I worked specifically on my neck pain for several days. I attributed the problem to a lack of sleep and poor sleep habits but knew deep down that the culprits were more likely to be emotional congestion and limiting beliefs. Round after round, I tapped on many pressing issues related to work and home life and after a few days, I was able to turn my head in all directions and the pain started to subside.

In the past several days, I’ve started digging deeper into my own psyche, taking notebook in hand to write down my beliefs about different challenges including finances, relationships, work, motivation and finally a resistance to change.

The tapping continues.

Is tapping a cure-all for every problem you encounter? Probably not. But it is an effective tool to have in your self-development arsenal if you’re truly dedicated to bettering your life. And if all else fails, you can put on those patent leather shoes and dance around the living room. Couldn’t hurt, could it?

Resources

For a general introduction to tapping, including a short video on the meridian points, visit Nick Ortner’s website.

In this YouTube video, you can see Nick Ortner work with the queen of self-help, Louise Hay, as she taps on a childhood memory. I was particularly taken with this video as it shows that even the most pioneering self-help guru can still be held back with emotional and physical pain. This is one of those rare therapy moments where you can actually witness someone transforming her life in real time. 

Brad Yates is an EFT/Tapping coach who works with athletes, children and everyday clients to help them overcome emotional and physical challenges. His YouTube channel has a host of videos to get you started on basic tapping scripts.

You can get The Tapping Solution at national booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble & Hay House

Disclosure:

Although I frequently review books as part of the Hay House Book Nook program, I purchased a copy of The Tapping Solution myself. I was not compensated in any way for this endorsement in my blog.

Take your mind on vacation

Take your mind on a vacation

Have you ever taken one of those vacations where you feel like you become a new person? The kind where your body relaxes, your mind frees itself and you are, well, happier?

In those instances, you haven’t become a new person; instead, you have shed layers of egotistical crap from your psyche and become the person you really are. The vacation isn’t changing you per se, it’s allowing you to become who you really are. Yes, deep down inside you really are a happy and joyful person.

This thought came about as I walked down the street today, frantically running late to a meeting. Most of the people I passed were either hurriedly walking somewhere purposely or had their head buried in a smartphone. But one young woman stood out from everyone else. She was walking a bit slower than others, her posture was relaxed and I saw that she looked around her with a sense of wonder. As I passed her, she beamed out a warm, inviting smile at me that was impossible not to feel physically. I smiled back and instantly felt less stressed.

The scene reminded me of one of my favorite vacations in Hawai’i years ago. After dinner, a friend and I were walking one of the busiest streets in Honolulu near the marketplace where street vendors vie for the attention—and money—of tourists. But on this splendidly warm evening, everyone on the street was relaxed. Soft Hawaiian music played in the background and tourists languished on the street, taking in the sights and sounds of the tropical paradise.

That night I became aware of the friendly atmosphere of Hawai’i. No one was rushing to get anywhere. No one appeared angry. In fact, almost everyone we passed looked us in the eyes and smiled as they strolled down the street. We didn’t feel pressured to be anywhere or to do anything and in fact the biggest decision was where to stop and have a glass of wine. Sounds pretty nice, huh?

Family vacations notwithstanding, this kind of reaction is common when we go on holiday. We literally feel stress sink into the sand on some exotic beach, allow our troubles to float away while on a canoe in a mountain lake or let our enthusiasm rise in a crowded European marketplace. So why the hell can’t we do this at home?

We can.

During vacation, we purposely turn our attention and awareness in new directions. We notice our surroundings (which are generally new and exciting to the senses) and become emerged in the present moment. Most astonishingly, we feel that it’s okay to relax and quite proper to simply forget our problems for the time being. It’s a trick of the mind.

I’m not saying that vacations aren’t a wonderful thing. I’m certainly not saying that we shouldn’t allow ourselves the pleasure of going on vacation, quite the opposite in fact. I’m a big advocate for getting out of Dodge whenever possible.

I am, however, saying that it’s possible to bring vacation-type awareness back to the regular work-a-day world where it can really do us a lot of good. It starts with conscious choices of where we place our thoughts and emotions.

My interaction with the young woman on the street is a great example. Her smile and the subsequent reminder of vacation made me realize that I have a choice in how I approach each moment. So for the rest of the walk to my meeting, I slowed down and took note of my surroundings. I purposely felt the sun on my face and the slight breeze blowing around me. I made a point to look at everyone I passed and smile at them whether they noticed or not.

I remembered how great it felt to walk down the street in Honolulu and held that image and awareness for the rest of my walk. I wasn’t really on the island but my thoughts were and that allowed me to bring a piece of heaven back home to Colorado.

Bring the beach back with you (or the Eiffel Tower)

When you’re feeling stressed out, over burdened or just plain wiped out, try using some of these simple techniques to adjust your thinking:

• Stop and remind yourself that you have a choice in each moment. You can feel stressed out or you can allow yourself to feel calm. This is a hard one to do in certain situations, but give it a whirl.
• Immerse yourself in the present moment. Stop talking, slow your thoughts, and look carefully at the world around you. Take note of small details wherever you are—anything from the bright orange of a pencil on your desk to the coffee cup on the floor of the subway. Investigate with your eyes, your ears and your sense of touch, smell and taste. Engage your senses so that your mind can take a mini-vacation. Above all, breathe deep as you check out your surroundings.
• Refuse to worry. Even if it’s only for five minutes, tell yourself that you won’t worry and won’t concentrate on problems, challenges, negative people or unwanted shit. Give yourself a break. You can always pick up those thoughts in a while but for now, they’re banished.
• Change a pattern. Take a new way home from work. Put your pants on the opposite leg first. Order a cheeseburger if you normally get a chicken sandwich. The point here is to engage your mind from a different perspective, much like you’d have to do on a vacation in an unfamiliar place.
• Send your mind to the beach (or wherever makes you happy). Sit and close your eyes and remember one of your favorite vacations (or people or places). Remember as vividly as possible what you were doing, how you felt, what you wore, what it smelled like and what the temperature was. What did the ground feel like under your feet? Were you in the water? How did it feel against your skin? The trick here is to remember as much detail as possible (happy details!) and keep your mind engaged for several minutes to allow your nervous system to reset itself.

You don’t have to go to the beach to take a vacation. All you need is a purposeful intent, some creativity and a willingness to bring the beach home with you. Change your focus by pretending what it’s like to be on vacation—even if it’s in the middle of a busy day.

Aloha.